Hay baling and hitchhiking.

My first encounter with hay baling was not positive. I was tired, emotional, hormonal, hot and in no mood to be screamed at by Alfred. At one point Alfred said "I crying when you do nothing and I crying when you do something because you always do it wrong". I was pretty much ready to throw in the towel permanently on the whole hay process. But Saturday proved to be another hay day... Trey got some sort of weird stomach thing (he's totally fine Joyce- only lasted for about 8 hours) so it was just me and Alfred. For 8 hours. With hay. Actually it ended up being kinda of fun. Since we had made all the hay bales the day before, we got to load them all into the trailer. I just had to stand in the trailer and arrange them all. After almost 100 hay bails, I stood taller than the tractor at the top of them. I got to ride home in the back - my own personal hay ride- which was really fun except for the occasional low-hanging branch... Sunday we sold cheese at a local fair. Every year, a huge herd of sheep comes through town so everybody celebrates with a big party in the woods (when your a town of 89 any excuse to have a party is a good one). There were really cool stands setup throughout- it felt like the renaissance fair without the costumes. Metal working, pottery, there was even a kids petting zoo with pony rides. The best part of the fair was the entertainment. A local dance troupe- Mayflower Country Steps- showed us how Americans like to dance. It was hilarious. They had the American flag, cowboy boots, huge belt buckles and reversible vests. It was pretty awesome. Monday was crazy. We got Alfred's 5 year old daughter Taya (who is so sweet and reminds us a lot of Parish), and his girlfriend Lindsay decided to end her trip early so Alfred had to drive to Italy to get her. Trey and I were excited to have the afternoon off but Alfred came home after only a few minutes on the road and told us that Taya's babysitter wasn't home so he was leaving her with us. While we love Taya, we were less than excited about a 6 hour babysitting gig where we can't communicate with the child... 4 hours later (we had Taya tied to a tree outside pretending to be a dog) Alfred's brother and sister in law arrived. We waited until after 10 pm when Alfred and Lindsay arrived- they had obviously had an argument on the way back from Italy and lets just say that Lindsay's first encounter with her boyfriends family was VERY awkward. After spending a day with 6 adults and 1 five year old sharing a house, we decided that perhaps our time at the farm had come to a close. We also realized that we had learned a ton about farming but very little French (alfred's brother and wife speak German, which didn't exactly help hone our French). So this morning we said our goodbyes and hitchhiked to Barcelonette (about 1.5 hours away). An adorable couple picked us up (the guy reminded us of BJ) and we took a gorgeous drive through the alps. It was totally breathtaking. We just arrived in Barcelonette with the intention of taking a train to Lyon. However Barcelonette is an incredible town and through a series of crazy circumstances that only work out when you're traveling with Trey, we got a French tutor who will be working with us for the next 3 days for a grand total of $15/hour! She is a professor at the local university and we are pumped to start our lessons in the morning. As always, more pics and videos to come at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/80826423@N08/

Sorry, updated address for pictures...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/80826423@N08/

A slight retraction and some pork milk.

Ok, so we feel like we need to clarify our description of Alfred from yesterday. After re-reading our post, we realize that it looks as if Alfred is a crazy person. That's because he is, but really only when cheese or a small herd of two-ton animals are at stake. Otherwise, Alfred is pleasant if hard to understand. He talks to himself a lot and thinks that putting utensils in your mouth makes them clean, and is a kind man to take care of us and a farm. In other news, this morning there was a fly in the milk, so I went to the pantry to get a spoon and fish it out. Unfortunately on my way back to the table I ran head long into the two-year-old pig leg hanging from the ceiling. Even more unfortunate was the fact that some the meat broke off and fell into the pitcher. At that point I decided on black coffee for the day. Pics: http://m.flickr.com/#/photos/80826423@N08/

A link to our pictures...

We've had some trouble getting pics up on the blog, so here are a few in the meantime. http://m.flickr.com/#/photos/80826423@N08/

City Slickers...

It all started yesterday evening. There are two separate pastures for the milking cows- one at the house and another 2 miles down the mountain. The  cows down the mountain are easier to milk but you have to tie the barn animals up in order to milk them. Unfortunately one of the "down the mountain cows" was giving alfred some trouble, so he enlisted trey and I to help him corner her and tie her up for an easier milking experience. We piled in the car and drove down the mountain with an extra bucket so that trey and I could pick cherries while alfred milked the cows. Unfortunately Carmen (the cow in question) proved impossible to milk so alfred decided that our our only choice was to herd ALL 6 cows the 2 miles up the mountain (I had about 50 better ideas but my opinion was not requested). Now before I continue, I need to give you a picture of Alfred. Imagine if Arnold shwartzinager taught pepi le pue to speak English and you'd have an idea for his accent. He looks like Murdock from the A Team And when he gets angry he closely resembles a cross between a mad scientist and the mad hatter. We realized last night that our French can never improve with alfred around because the only French words he uses roughly translate to various synonyms of "whore". He also uses a version of our curse words which always comes out "fooking". So, back to the story. We had to drive all the cattle up the mountain while alfred screamed things like "I hate you fooking cows!" "you're the worst fooking cow I ever had!" "fook you!" he would scream incoherent instructions at us for how to keep the cows on the right path but by the time we could figure out what he was saying it was always a little too late. I think trey and I recieved our own set of expletives as well to say the least, and the evening included but was not limited to, trey trying to lasso a cow in chest high grass. We finally got the cows home, tied up and milked and after having dinner at 10pm we headed to bed. Last night we had the most intense weather of the trip. Crazy thunderstorms And pouring rain- unfortunately I had hung our laundry out to dry that afternoon... This morning was similar to most of our mornings here- Trey milked the cows and fed the pigs and I made cheese (however since we had tripled the # of cows in the shed, trey had quite a task when it came to mucking out the barn- 6 wheelbarrows full of "task" to be exact). This morning we had to take a new selection of cows back down the mountain because there is not enough grass  by the house. Unfortunately one of these cows was a 3 month old calf who had never been much farther than the walls of the barn. Let's just say we're no longer wondering why parents with young kids dont travel. Again, herding the cattle was disastrous. Alfred screamed, traffic jammed, cows pooped all over the highway, oh and did I mention it was pouring down rain? After finally arriving at the pasture, we had to work through the landminds of cow dung to get our cows into a fresh pasture. After the chaos Alfred gave us a rare "c'est bon!" (it's good) and we headed back up the mountain. Once there Alfred informed us that we would need to take a drive to get his hay tractor and cutting machine and since it would take him a few hours to finish it, we could go into the nearby town and explore. We were thrilled for the chance to experience another French alps town. The name of the town was Entreneux. It is absolutely gorgeous! You get to take a draw bridge to get inside the original city walls and there is an ancient  citadel used by Louis XIV that we hiked to. The view was incredible but unfortunately a week of cheese combined with a curvy Alps drive had messed with my digestive system. Suffice it to say the walk down had to be taken at a run and the sounds I made from that unsuspecting French bathroom may or may not have left a few seating opportunities in the restaurant. Alfred had asked us to get gas before heading back to the garage to pick him up. After 3 gas stations we were 20 minutes late and once again identified as some kind of French whore. We then taxied him 30 minutes away for his dental appointment and then drove another 30 minutes to get back to the garage where we left him for "finishing touches that should take about an hour". It is now nearing midnight and were on our way to pick up alfred from those finishing touches. In the time since we left Alfred, we've driven the 40 minutes home, herded and milked the cows, turned the cheese, slopped the pigs, made dinner, bathed and cleaned the kitchen.  Still hoping to get a chance to pick those cherries tomorrow but we're not holding our breath.

48 hour check in.

We have now been on the farm for 48 hours. The past two days have been wonderful, difficult and beautiful. Our farm could not be more picturesque. We are tucked away in the French Alps with gorgeous mountains in all directions. The house we are in is over 300 years old- it's very rustic and the whole place is pretty much one killer instagram photo waiting to happen.  I have been put in charge of the "cheeserie" and get to make cheese every morning. It's really fun but a lot of work. It turns out I 'm a natural at cheese but I'm terrible at milking cows. It is so much harder than it looks!  We have spent a lot of time in the garden and yesterday we climbed a cherry tree and picked (and ate) cherries before dinner. We felt like we were in a scene from a movie!  Today our calf was brought back from the slaughter house (yes- just as gross as it sounds) and the butcher spent the morning chopping it up while several people from town came to buy a portion. I was doing the dishes (purposefully as far away from the carcass as possible) when our host Alfred brought in the stomach and started washing it right next to me. Gross.  The mornings here are always very busy. We milk the cows, make cheese, clean the cheesierie and work on whatever outdoor project Alfred has for us. But once we have lunch (around 2) everything dies down until we have to milk the cows again around 6. Usually dinner starts at 9 and ends around midnight (which Trey thinks is the most wonderful thing in the world and I find very inconvenient!)  There are two other Americans here that leave tomorrow. Alfred's  girlfriend leaves on Tuesday and will be gone for most of the rest of our time here. So for the past few days we've been running the farm with 6 people and by Tuesday it will just be us and Alfred. We are excited and nervous to have so much responsibility.  We've been talking a lot about how this lifestyle could translate back home and maybe 48 hours isn't long enough to make a decision, but we sure know more than we did two days ago! 

"The South"

I realize this is my third installment in the same day, but I'm on a five hour train ride, and the seats are facing each other. Sometimes you need something...anything to do aside from stare at the nice Frenchmen 18 inches across from you. 
We've gotten into the southern part of France and just as with Andalusia and Mediterranean Italy, I'm feeling quite at home. Now maybe Oklahoma and the South of France aren't exactly the same, but I see crayola-red dirt and roads lined by farms; plus, the air is ash dry and the people all talk with accents. Suffice it to say, if it weren't for the Mediterranean Sea and a horizon that rests on the foothills of the Alps, I wouldn't be surprised to see a Sooner Football shirt walk by.
Maybe it's some residual effect from a childhood not dominated by, but at least scheduled around, asthma; or maybe it's just that I tend to idealize anything if it's in a different country,  but I'm always a little happier in this hot, dry stuff.

The next morning...

For something that felt so right at 3am, my Thunder decision felt pretty wrong when the alarm went off a few hours later.

So I turned it off.

Which is why debbie and I slept until checkout-minus-10-minutes. It's that wonderful moment we've all had: your eyes shoot open as the rest of your body remains still and your first bewildered thought of the day is, "oh NO." Debbie could have told me it was any month of the year and I would have believed her, but she wasnt too talkative seeing that the alarm I turned off was intended for her too. I silently began rehearsing my surprised defense, something simple like, "I wonder what happened to the clock??" but before I could begin my performance, Debbie shot out of bed with an, "oh NO" moment of her own. So began our day. After four hours of toting bags around town and making slightly snide remarks that we probably won't include in our book on healthy marriages, debbie and I are on a train speeding through one pastoral postcard scene after another on our way to the beaches of Nice.
I can't wait for the game tomorrow night.

Thunder up.

Last night I made the decision to watch the Thunder game. This may seem like a relatively easy choice, but when you're in a time zone 7 hours ahead of OKC, it's more like a commitment. It's also kind of a stupid thing to do when you're in the city of lights.

I'm not sorry.

I called my good buddy BJ, who I knew would understand the seriousness of my situation, and we decided that if we used FaceTime on our iPhones, he could hold up his camera to the tv and I could watch the game for free in the privacy of my hostel lobby from 3-5am. Honestly, I don't think "brilliant" is too strong of a word.  In sum, thanks to the steady hands of both BJ and Kevin Durant, the Atlantic has failed to come between me and a Thunder victory. C'est la vie, Heat.

@treywince: Supplies for a day in Paris? Check.

http://t.co/1Ngm6E9a

Bonjour!

Alright. I'm attempting to put up a quick post on my phone, so I've got to think it looks like I'm writing a very detailed text to anyone watching. I'm also trying to upload a picture. This too, is proving difficult on a phone. For now, suffice it to say that Debbie and I have pushed through our need for a jet lag nap an seen a good deal of Paris...some on purpose and some because we didn't have a clue where we were. This is as good a segue as any for our first nine hours in Paris. We (I) decided that we would continue my tradition of spending the first few hours getting to know the town while looking for a hostel we liked. We (I) failed to realize that the French open was going on and that there was literally NO room in the inn. Nine hours later, we found a hostel (in southern Ukraine) and settled in for a solid night's sleep. Today we saw the louvre, Notre Dame, bread, Sacre Coeur, Napoleon's castle, bread, walked the Champs Élysées, bread, and now we're watching some movie in French called "not exactly Denzel's best work." That all these thumbs can take for now, hopefully we can get some pics uploaded soon.

Seven days and counting until we depart to farm the wilds of southern France.  As is obvious from the picture, we are more than ready.